Prologue *Unedited draft*
Damn, I’m pumped! Adrenaline and endorphins rage through my veins and I know I’m not going to get any sleep tonight but I don’t care. There are multiple things I can do to fill the hours and I plan on making good use of those multiples. Emily sits next to me in my Impala and I can’t wait to get my hands on her. I want to take everything I’m feeling, every single emotion running through me from seeing her in the front row at the concert, and pump it into her, because words just won’t cut it tonight. Emily’s been to shows before—hundreds of them—but she’s always been backstage, watching from the sidelines. Tonight, she was front and center and although I was standing in front of 20,000 fans, I was singing every single word to her.
As part of the show, I do this bit where I bring a girl onstage and sing to just her. I dance with the girl, hold her hand, let her kiss me on the cheek. The crowd goes fucking crazy for it and the girl gets an experience she can hold onto forever. I’m not trying to be a conceited prick here, I know from experience how great it feels to have a moment with your favorite band. And because of that moment, I want to give back to my fans and show them how much it means to me to be doing what I love every day of my life.
The girl on stage with me tonight was shaking so hard I could feel her hand vibrating in mine as I sang to her. I’ll be honest; it’s a breath of fresh air to get the sweet ones on stage. I never used to pick them, I’d leave that up to security but that almost always resulted in me nearly getting dry-humped. This girl was on the opposite side of the spectrum. The longer she was up there, the more she shook. Eventually, when it came to the part where I dance with the her, I gave her a twirl, took her into my arms and whispered to her that I was nervous too. She calmed down a beat after that and totally stole the show by singing back to me and performing like a natural. When she ran back to her friends at the end of the performance, you couldn’t tell who was beaming more, her or me. That part of the show always brings back my first concert experience and the nostalgia was bittersweet.
Emily’s hand palming my cock, through my jeans, brings me straight back to the present in a way I’m not going to complain about. I smile at her as I take the curve in the road and she unclips her seat belt, kneeling on the chair. She reaches for my belt buckle and my dick twitches in anticipation. I shift in my seat and navigate another wind in the road, fighting not to close my eyes as she closes her hot mouth around the head of my cock and sucks.
I groan and flex my hips, as she alternates gentle licks with powerful sucks.
“Angel?” My hand rests on her head and she looks up at me through long lashes framing her wide hazel eyes. I turn my attention back to the road. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think we should wait till we get home. This road—ah fuck!” She takes me deep, then sucks back to the head with a loud pop, then sucks me back in. “Em. Angel . . .” I hiss the words through clenched teeth. Jesus, I fight with all my willpower not to close my fists around her head and fuck into her mouth, but I move my hand to her cheek and gently push her back till my cock falls from her lips. “This isn’t the best stretch of road here. When we get home we can finish up where you left off. Better yet, I’ll take care of you while you take care of me. How does that sound?”
She sits up and slides back along the bench seat, smoothing her sleek mahogany hair falling in a curtain to mid-waist. She’s so incredibly gorgeous. All soft edges and beautiful curves and I tell myself, as I do nearly every hour of every day, that I’m a lucky bastard. It’s taking everything I’ve got to not pull to the side of the road and fuck her limp, but it’s the middle of the night and as much as I want her, she’s too precious for me to let anything happen to her. I reposition my cock into a more comfortable position. The thirty-minute drive is going to kill me.
“C’mere.” I move my arm so Emily can slide into the crook.
She turns and smiles at me and something about her smile seems off. For a second I wonder if I hurt her feelings, but then she bites her lip and runs her hands up the inside of her thighs. She’s wearing a short, black layered skirt which reaches about mid-thigh with a fitted red tank. Coupled with knee-high boots, she’s dangerously sexy. Her long nails trail the inside of her thighs slowly and it’s a challenge to keep my eyes on the road.
From my peripheral vision, I see her fingers slip into her panties and she lets out a sigh barely audible over the roar of the engine.
I let out a chuckle. “What are you doing?”
“Having some fun.” She lifts her hips slightly off the seat and moans. “Do you want to see how wet I am?”
I groan but the sound barely makes it past my throat, it’s so dry. I flick my gaze to Emily as she places her feet as wide apart as she can get them on my dash. I can’t see exactly what the deal is but by the sounds she’s making, I’d bet my left nut she’s just pushed her fingers inside her pussy. “See how wet I am for you, baby.” She holds up her fingers and confirms my suspicions, showing me her soaked fingers illuminated by the street lamp.
“Jesus!” The word rushes out my mouth as every ounce of oxygen is sucked out of me.
She lifts her fingers to her mouth and sucks the juices coating her skin. “Hmmm, I taste good. No wonder you want to eat me out all the time.”
To say I’m a little shocked by the dirty talk is an understatement. Emily isn’t exactly virginal but she still blushes when I tell her I’m going to fuck her hard. She goes back to sliding her fingers inside her and moaning softly. The soft mewling sounds coming from her lips are fucking torture and my cock is relentless in its attempt to free itself from my jeans. I shift in my seat and flick my gaze to her again. Her fingers are thrusting in and out of her and she’s rubbing furiously at her clit with her other hand.
It looks painful, way harder than I know she can take it and suddenly I’m uneasy. “Angel, gently.”
She looks at me; biting down so hard on her lip I think I see a trace of blood.
“Em, you’re kind of freaking me out here. Are you okay?”
“What? Don’t you like me fucking myself? Isn’t this always what you’ve wanted, me showing off, making myself come for you?”
My gut twists. Emily is fun and sassy and sexy to dangerous degrees in bed, but the one thing she’s always had an issue with is touching herself in front of me. It’s something she’s self-conscious about and I’m trying to get her out of it. She’s fucking gorgeous, so gorgeous it hurts to look at her sometimes, and when she comes she is out of this world. I don’t want her to fuck herself out of some idea I have a voyeuristic fantasy. (Although I have to admit I’ve jacked off to the thought a time or two when I’ve been on tour). I want her to be free, let go of her inhibitions, to trust me enough to be more vulnerable than she’ll ever be in her life. But I also want that to be something she wants for herself and only if she’s comfortable. I clear my throat. “I only want that if you want it, Em. You know that.”
“I bet all your groupies would gladly spread them for you. Open themselves up for you; show you how deep they can take it.”
I search for someplace to pull over but I’m on a turn and there’s nowhere to stop. “What’s going on here?”
“I bet the girl you were whispering sweet things to tonight, is thinking of you right now. I bet you’d like to be there when she comes screaming your name.” She’s breathless, pumping her fingers in and out of herself at a furious rate. Her hips bucking off the seat as she’s trying to seek more.
She continues to rub herself furiously.
“Emily, take it easy.”
“I have to come—I need to do this for you. They would do this for you. All the other girls would do this for you.”
Bile rises, stinging my throat, and mercifully I turn the last corner and get to the shoulder of the road and turn off the engine. I pull over and grab Emily’s wrists. Pulling her into my lap, she sobs into my neck.
My throat constricts as I pull her tighter to me. “I’m sorry, Em. Fuck, I’m so sorry.” I lean back and force her to meet my gaze. Her red-rimmed eyes cause pain like an arrow to the gut. I wipe her tears away with my thumbs. “Angel, you’re everything to me. You make me who I am, you give me everything. I’m nothing without you.” I’m floundering, trying to find words I can’t express as guilt and remorse smother me. How did I not see this coming? How could I not know she was struggling the way she was? “I want you, not those other girls. That’s all performing. What you and I have is real. You have to know that?”
She pushes off me and moves across the seat; digging in her purse for a tissue, she wipes her eyes and blows her nose.
“Angel, I was just trying to put that girl at ease, she was terrified up there.”
“Can you take me home?”
“Em, please. We need to talk about this.”
“Kade, I just need to go home. Please take me home.”
My stomach sinks and I run my hands through my hair. My mind is screaming that if I take her home I’m going to lose her, but I start the engine again. Emily stares out the window for the entire ride. With every mile we get closer to her home I feel her pulling further away from me. Words race through my mind as I grapple with something to say that will fix this. As I pull up to the curb, I reach for her hand but she pulls it away and clutches the seatbelt.
Remorse chokes me, and I know I’ve lost her. She looks at me and that beautiful light that was always dancing in her eyes is gone.
I want to put my fist through something. Feel the knuckles on my hands break like I broke her.