The Dark Side of Chemistry, Chapter 1

I woke to the sound of waves crashing on the shore and an empty bed. The uneasy feeling from the previous evening settled in the pit of my stomach as I turned over and stared absently at the sunrise through the open blinds. It was beautiful, all pale peach and powder blues surrounding the luminous orange orb, but I was too distracted to take it in. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something was off with Trent and whatever was on his mind, he’d used some really interesting distraction techniques to throw me off the trail. But now that I wasn’t sexed stupid, I needed answers.

Forcing myself out of bed, I picked up Trent’s shirt from the floor and slipped it over my head. Running my fingers through my hair in an effort to tame my bed-head, I dragged my languid self to the kitchen. As I inhaled the aroma of brewing coffee, I almost forgot about Trent’s lies. Okay, so he hadn’t actually lied to me but he was definitely keeping something from me and as far as I was concerned those two things were one and the same. The truth was, if anyone was an expert on lies of omission, it was me. My biggest secret was one that had my stomach twisting with guilt daily, but I was too deep into it to do anything now. I’d just have to live with my secret and hope it never came to light.

From the kitchen window I spotted Trent lying on the hammock. Damn the man was all types of fine. Wearing only his boxers, one arm hanging over the side of the hammock, the other over his eyes. His perfectly defined sun touched abs making my fingers itch to touch. I poured two cups of coffee and headed out to the beautifully secluded garden I loved. As I stepped outside, I took a moment to appreciate my surroundings, to feel the crisp touch of the ocean’s breeze against my skin, to breathe it in as it slipped through the palms and shrubs which were artfully situated so as to lend the desired privacy from the sparkling beach just beyond. My feet hardly made a sound but as I approached, Trent lifted his arm from his eyes. His smile took my breath away. God, I loved him.

“Hey, gorgeous, how did you sleep?”

“Like a baby. I missed you when I woke up.” Placing the coffee on the wrought-iron table next to the hammock, I carefully climbed up next to him. Trying my best not to land both of our asses on the grass, I over-balanced and fell onto Trent.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” His mischievous grin sent the already active butterflies in my tummy into a frenzy. His lips claimed mine in a kiss that left no question as to how he was feeling—well… the kiss and his hard length pressed against my hip.

“Someone else is up early.” I laughed as I ran my hands through his chocolate brown hair.

“Yeah, he likes your outfit.” He cupped my butt, a wicked smile flashing across his face. “No underwear, this is definitely how we should start every morning.” A strange expression flashed in his olive eyes, the same one that had passed over his features countless times the night before. Regret? Sadness? Before I could place it Trent’s fingers moved to my hips, “Turn around.”

It took some doing but eventually I was lying against his chest, warm and safe and exactly where I needed to be.

Trent’s voice, low and gravelly, whispered over my ear in a way that shot straight to my fun parts. “I’m going to touch you now but you’re going to have to keep perfectly still if you don’t want us to fall.” My heart rate spiked and wetness pooled between my legs. It never ceased to amaze me that after three years together, his voice could still turn me on as much as it did the first time.

Trent’s hands worked their way over my body, his fingers lightly brushing over my skin as he lifted his shirt over my head. As the cool air whispered over where his touch had warmed my skin, I sighed. We were outside and naked—at least I was—and maybe I should be feeling awkward, but all I could think about was how good Trent’s hands felt moving over my body.

He kissed my neck, softly nipping at the skin while his palm rubbed over my breast—my arm shot back to grab his neck, pulling him closer, wanting more. The movement rocked the hammock, nearly causing me to topple out. Trent chuckled as his hands came around my body to steady me. “I told you, to be still.”

My response died on my lips as his hands and mouth continued where they left off, one hand caressing my breast while the other trailed leisurely down to my hip. Trent brushed his fingers up and down my inner thigh, every time he moved his hand up it was that much closer to where I wanted it to be. Finally, his fingers brushed over my sensitive skin, working in painfully slow circles. My breath rushed out my mouth in a loud moan. Wanting so desperately to arch into his touch and not being able to, was blissful torture. He kept up his steady rhythm, gently; with the barest of pressure he circled my clit. As my breathing became more ragged, and my moans grew louder, Trent gradually increased the pressure, while he rolled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. His soft kisses just above my shoulder adding to the onslaught of sensations. Lifting my face to his, I whimpered into his mouth as his tongue flicked over mine.

“I love the sounds you make.” Trent whispered as he circled me with his fingers, teasing me, slowly slipping his finger inside of me, and then withdrawing.

“You’re driving me crazy,”

“That’s the point.” Trent husked as he plunged his finger into me, first one, then another. I had to bite my lip to keep from meeting the thrust of his fingers with my hips. Forced to be still, my body could only absorb every sensation with such intensity I felt I would combust.

“Please, Trent… I… have to… oh God, please.” I wasn’t even embarrassed to beg. I needed him to make me come.

“Shhh, baby, I’ve got you.” He braced my body against his own, rubbing my clit with his thumb, bringing me the release my body so desperately craved.

While my heart rate returned to normal and with my eyes tightly shut, I rested my head on Trent’s chest, “I can’t feel my arms, you nearly killed me.”

Trent chuckled softly, “Death by orgasm, now that’s the way to go.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, beautiful.”

People take those three little words for granted but when you are on the cusp of losing everything, every time those words are spoken you cherish them. Every moment, every memory is clung to with a ferocity that is unparalleled.  Nothing about Trent was to be taken for granted and certainly nothing about how much he adored me. I could feel it in the small things he did: making me breakfast every day no matter what time he got up (even if he left it cold with a note), or taking us on a midnight picnic, or drawing me a candle-lit bath. I felt it in the way that he looked at me as if nothing else mattered. Maybe when you’re that close to losing everything, small things become more acute. Or maybe this is really how true love is. All-consuming. But regardless of what it was, it didn’t matter. I knew that no one would ever love me the way Trent did. And I didn’t deserve him. I snuggled into his chest, reveling in the feeling that for this moment I was his. Secrets be damned, I would eventually get Trent’s out of him. For now, I just wanted to be his.

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